Just Keep Going

5 May

Overall, I am extremely happy with my life right now. I am incredibly grateful for the opportunity I have to go back to school and pursue my passion. Josh and I are doing well and our marriage is strong and happy. My dogs keep me laughing every single day and I live in the best little town that just keeps getting better. 

BUT. Last night I had a little breakdown. I was already premenstrual and had to watch about a dozen Mother’s Day commercials. You know makes infertility even harder? Having to hear over and over again how magical and wonderful it is to be a mother. Yes, I understand motherhood is difficult which is why we devote a day to thank all mothers. I know it’s not all magic and happiness, but that doesn’t make those commercials any easier to bear. With each commercial my resolve was slowly chipped away and by the end of the evening I felt exposed and raw. 

I then realized that this month makes it exactly FOUR YEARS since we’ve started trying to get pregnant. Four freaking years. And stupidly, I decided to log onto Facebook and the very first post was a pregnancy announcement. And that was it. I spent about 30 minutes crying harder than I’ve cried in a while.

Then I stood up, brushed myself off, and kept going. Because that’s what you have to do. Just keep going.



3 Responses to “Just Keep Going”

  1. Sheree Niehus May 6, 2014 at 4:07 am #

    Awww Bec! So sorry that you experienced that 😦 I know that everything is going well for you at the moment, but you’d still love to be a Mother. I hate those Mother’s Day commercials aswell. Some people don’t want expensive jewelry and appliances, just a child to love. I really hope that it happens soon for you xxxx you’re amazing! X

  2. Aly (@breathegently) May 6, 2014 at 10:10 am #

    Still here, following on, sending you SO much love. x

  3. Last Girl Standinf May 8, 2014 at 11:20 pm #

    That’s so tough. It’s hard to see what we want so badly come so easily to others. I’m proud of you for getting up and brushing yourself off. We’re all allowed our moments but as long as they’re followed by that we’ll be okay. Xoox!

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