To Endings and Beginnings

29 Jul

You know how most people who make New Year’s resolutions give up after only a month and go back to life as usual? Yeah, that’s not me. In fact, I’ve taken my New Year’s resolutions to a whole new level and my entire life is about to change. 

I already told you guys about applying to graduate school and I’m proud to say I’ve been accepted into a Master’s of Counseling Psychology program! I start classes in only two weeks! Yikes. (Also, can I just say how insanely expensive tuition is now? And don’t even get me started on textbooks!)

After I found out I had been accepted to graduate school, Josh and I looked into how many classes I would need and how long it would take for me to go part time versus full time. Since I need 48 hours before I can start working toward licensure, we decided I should cut my hours at work and go to school full time. I registered for classes and told my manager at work.

Unfortunately, after waiting for 6 weeks, I was told I would not be allowed to cut my hours and work part time. To say I was disappointed would be a huge understatement. I have always been a very loyal employee and have worked in my current job for close to 6 years. I have many amazing relationships here and I get to work with Josh. I was so incredibly hurt that they would rather me leave than be flexible with my hours. 

I found out last week that I wouldn’t be able to stay and my last day is this Friday. I bounce around from feeling excited and hopeful to crying and being absolutely terrified. In four days, my life will completely change and guys, I don’t deal well with change. Even really great changes cause my anxiety and stress to skyrocket. Not to mention the fact that one of my coworkers has quickly become my best friend and I don’t know how I am going to manage not seeing her every day.

A couple of my coworkers are throwing me a going away party Thursday night. I have a feeling it’s going to be a very emotional evening. One good thing about this situation is that Josh is still working at the company I’m leaving so I won’t be out of touch with everyone. I will still be able to attend the holiday party and the company picnic in the summer. 

I still can’t believe that this Friday I will pack up my stuff, walk out to my car and drive home from my last day of work. My routine for the past 6 years will completely change. I know that this is the right path for me and that someday all this pain and fear will be worth it, but right now? I’m completely overwhelmed. 

 

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4 Responses to “To Endings and Beginnings”

  1. Michelle Koechle July 31, 2013 at 4:18 pm #

    I think this is awesome! Good for you! It totally is so hard to make the change, but so glad you are. That company doesn’t deserve you anyway. 🙂

  2. lastgirlstanding August 3, 2013 at 6:46 am #

    That is so tough! Especially to be disappointed by people you care about at a time that should be nothing but exciting. It’s their loss. I’m sorry you won’t be working with Your friend. I worked with my best friend too and things did change but we’re still friends. And, who knows, maybe if we had still worked together we’d be sick of each other after all these years. Change is so hard. I hate it too. It’s scary and fills us with doubt and sadness but sometimes the most rewarding things are the hardest and scariest to do. I’m excited for you! And proud of you! 🙂

  3. Aba August 11, 2013 at 10:03 pm #

    Oh no! I’m so sorry you’re having to leave your job. But congratulations on your acceptance, and I’m excited that you’re able to start on this journey! Mental Health is such a rewarding field to be in!

  4. DaPh00z August 20, 2013 at 4:33 pm #

    Shutterbug,
    Just remember that the choices of a few managers at work doesn’t reflect the sentiment of the rest of the company. I’m quite certain that there will be many people that miss you, and they’ll find it harder to fill your shoes than they think. They’re lucky if they haven’t lost the respect and dedication of Mr Shutterbug in this decision as well.

    I think that you’ll look back on this ‘adventure’ and be proud of yourself for stepping out of your comfort zone and following your dreams. You’ll do amazing things in the years to come and though you’ll miss the good friends and good times you had, you’ll wonder how you ever lived without the new chapter of life that you’re about to start. Besides, with Mr Shutterbug at your side, you two can handle anything that life throws your way.

    ~Ph00z

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