Endo, Blocked Tubes and Cysts, Oh My!

27 May

After a pretty rough recovery, last weekend I started to feel a ton better. I was able to walk around without constantly worrying about going slowly and not making any quick movements. I could sit down for a while and not be horrible stiff and sore when I stood up. I was really feeling better and couldn’t wait for my follow-up appointment on May 31 with my OBGYN.

This Monday I noticed some of the pain coming back and it just kept getting worse. It felt like I was back at square one so naturally I was a little concerned. I called my doctor to tell them what was going on expecting them to tell me that I’m probably just still healing. Imagine my surprise when I got a call from them yesterday morning asking me to come in to get tested for a UTI. As soon as I was able to, I left work and headed to my doctor’s office. I’m not sure why but I was incredibly emotional yesterday. In addition to the numerous pregnant women that are usually in the waiting room, there were also two couples sitting in front of my giggling and gushing over their ultrasound pictures. I took a deep breath and tried to keep it together.

Once I got called back, I went into the restroom to pee in a cup. While I was attempting to fill my cup I got to hear the couple in the room next door hear their babies heartbeat. I finished and got out of there as quickly as possible but as soon as the nurse came into my room, I burst into tears. Now, this was not the one little, glistening tear slides down my cheek cry. No, this was the ugly, gasping for breath cry. Ugh. I was completely embarrassed. The nurse was so sweet to me but I was just so irritated with myself. I have got to get a hold of my emotions. It’s fine to be sad but to burst into tears in front of strangers? That’s a different story.

The nurse told me that since I was here, the doctor would do an exam and go ahead and go over everything from my surgery. After she left, I tried to calm myself down and get prepared. Since my appointment was not supposed to be until next week, I was completely caught off guard. The plan was for me and Josh to come in for my appointment with a list of questions. Now, I was sitting there alone and my mind was completely blank.

Once the doctor came in she asked me about my pain and did a quick exam. She decided that the pain is most likely from the fact that I am ovulating and since everything is still swollen and sore, it is causing me a bit of pain. She told me that I should feel better by next week. After that, she sat down and started flipping through my file. She explained to me that I had had one cyst on my left ovary and one on my right. I expressed my confusion over this because the ultrasound had said I had two on my right and none on my left. Her only explanation was that the one on the left may have grown in a few weeks. I’m not sure how I feel about that. When I went in for my ultrasound, I told her I was having pain on both sides. I really wonder if they just missed the cyst the first time.

In addition to the cyst I had endometriosis. (If you don’t know what this is, the Mayo Clinic has a good, simple explanation.) From the pictures she showed me, it was impossible for me to tell how bad the endometriosis was so I asked her how much I had. She told me that I had quite a bit for my age and she said that I have a moderate case of endometriosis. This is something I have always feared and is the diagnosis I am struggling with the most. Not only could this effect me getting pregnant but it’s something I will have to deal with the rest of my life.

I then asked her about my blocked tube. I was completely shocked when she told me that not one, but BOTH tubes had been blocked. (Apparently, she had told Josh this but he kept it from me because he didn’t want me to be even more upset. Even though I understand why he did it, I really wish he had told me the whole truth.) She said that it is possible that since I had just had surgery, the tubes were blocked due to inflammation. However, she also said with my level of endometriosis, it is highly possible that is what is blocking my tubes. If that’s the case, IVF may be my only option. I have to go back in August for the HSG test to see if my tubes are still blocked. She wanted to wait until then to ensure that all the inflammation had gone down.

My doctor said after my surgery, we have about six months to try before the endometriosis will get bad enough that it could prevent pregnancy again. I hate that I have to wait until August before I have another dye test but I am trying to be patient. In the meantime we are going to keep trying in hopes that one or both of my tubes are actually not blocked. I am excited to try but not extremely hopeful.

Right now I am completely overwhelmed. I think it’s the combination of the blocked tubes AND endometriosis that I am having the hardest time dealing with. I have heard stories of people who were able to get pregnant with both tubes blocked which gives me hope. However, most of those people tried for quite a while and I don’t have that time. I can’t just try for years and years because the longer I wait, the worse the endometriosis gets. I am trying to remind myself that I have no control and all I can do is pray and stay optimistic. I can and will deal with anything thrown my way. Who knows? Maybe we will get pregnant before August and I won’t have to worry about any of this for a while! Or maybe we won’t and my tubes will be blocked. Will we try IVF? I’m not sure yet. What’s our plan after August? No clue. Right now, I am just going to spend time with my husband, enjoy my summer, spend time with friends and family and take lots and lots of pictures! My baby will come.

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3 Responses to “Endo, Blocked Tubes and Cysts, Oh My!”

  1. Jess May 28, 2011 at 2:18 am #

    Big massive hugs. Don’t worry I’m a terrible cryer and would have done exactly what you did, it’s better to have a big cry than hold it in.

    Good luck I’ll be sending positive baby vibes to you guys. I hope it all goes well and I am sure you will (when you’re meant to) have your own gorgeous baby in your arms.

    xoxo

  2. Rasha May 31, 2011 at 10:07 pm #

    Oh, I am the worst at holding in emotions and would have cried too! Sending baby vibes!

  3. Geraldine July 14, 2011 at 1:07 am #

    Oh, honey.

    I am so sorry for all you went through. Blinking back the tears a little over here. Heck, if it’s hard for a stranger to read, then … MAN.

    Sending positive vibes your way, though it sounds like you already have many coming in your direction. 🙂

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