Weekend Massage

7 Sep

For Valentine’s Day this year, I got JJ a gift certificate for a massage because he has always wanted to try a deep tissue massage. So I bought him a gift certificate for a spa that is very close to our house and that I have been to multiple times. They recently were bought by a different place but they were honoring the old gift cards (and even adding 20% to it!). JJ wanted me to go with him so I made the appointment for me to get a regular massage and for JJ to get a deep tissue. I also asked for the couples room so we could get our massages at the same time. When I made the appointment they asked me if I had a preference of whether I wanted a female or male to do my massage. I told them I didn’t care because the last time I went there a really nice guy did my massage and did a great job.

So we went to our massage yesterday. (Yes, I realize we were just redeeming the gift certificate from seven months ago. JJ and I had a discussion about this because I was convinced that he completely hated my gift and wanted nothing to do with it. He reassured me that I was crazy and that he just hadn’t had time. Whatever. Love you honey!) I went to the locker room and got changed and was waiting for my masseur/masseuse to come get me. There was a knock on the door and the girl that works in the locker room told me it was my masseur coming to get me. I open the door and standing there was a young guy that was about 6’5″ with huge muscles. And cute. He walked me back to my room and while we waited for JJ to come in we chatted.

JJ and came in with his masseuse and they explained to us that we were to take our robes off and get under the covers on the table. They left the room so we could do just that. After a brief debate over whether they said we were supposed to get under both covers or in between the two (I won that one, ha! I never win any disagreements so I fully plan to use this one as often as I can), we were ready for the massage!

The entire time I was getting my massage, I was so distracted. I was never really able to relax because, really? How could you relax when a cute guy is tucking the blanket into your underwear and rubbing all over you? When he lifted the sheet up to start on my legs I kept thinking, “I hope I didn’t miss a spot when I shaved today!” Plus, I kept almost giggling. Also(and this is where I have to warn you about TMI) I totally had to fart the whole time. Then I would think about what would happen if I did fart and I would start giggling.

JJ thought it was hilarious that I can’t even relax during a massage. Later, when we were talking about the experience, JJ said, “I had to fart the entire time during the massage.” I’m so glad we have so much in common!

Needless to say, next time I will be requesting a female masseuse…

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4 Responses to “Weekend Massage”

  1. Breathe Gently September 7, 2010 at 5:38 pm #

    HAHA. I would have died if it was a guy. Really. I'm self conscious enough of LADY MASSEUSES. And they really ought to have a sign up that tells you where to lie and in what position, to save you from future awkwardness. 😉 (Been there, done that!)

  2. JQ Brat September 10, 2010 at 12:27 am #

    I always try to get a man, they have stronger hands. But the last guy that massaged me left a bruise. Sometimes you get a good one and sometimes you don't. I have a hard time relaxing too, it must be a girl thing. And I don't take off anything below the waist. I'm probably doing it wrong but being topless is embarrassing enough.

  3. JQ Brat September 10, 2010 at 12:27 am #

    I always try to get a man, they have stronger hands. But the last guy that massaged me left a bruise. Sometimes you get a good one and sometimes you don't. I have a hard time relaxing too, it must be a girl thing. And I don't take off anything below the waist. I'm probably doing it wrong but being topless is embarrassing enough.

  4. Rachelle September 14, 2010 at 9:49 am #

    Hi! I just found your blog through "Your Wishcake" a blogger I follow and you commented on one of her posts. I just HAD to comment on this post, because it cracked me up. My boyfriend has wanted to get massages together before, but I am terrified. And… for the exact reasons you posted here! What if I fart? What if my masseuse is hot and I am super awkward about it? I am glad other people in the world are weirded out by massages by hot stranger men. haha.

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